Pirates and Paradise!

You know that song... welcome to paradise...ohowhoa... Umm, that´s hardly what comes to mind when I think of Bluefields, Nicaragua. I knew that it would be an adventure coming (getting) here, but wow I had no idea it would be this amazing. The long bus ride on Evie´s birthday (Feb 17 - Shout out to my girlie!) lasted well over 10 hours. I started bright and early at 8am and arrived in Rama around 630p. Rama is a quaint little town, with pretty much NOTHING. The ol´faithful guidebook (aka - piece of trash since nothing is accurate) said nothing much about this place other than it was at the end of the road. WOW - I think for ONCE the Lonely Planet book was RIGHT! (mark that one in history would ya!). Anyway, we tried to find a place that didn´t have prostitutes hanging around in the lobby area (if you can call it that) and didn´t rent by the hour. A nice Nicaraguan man Juan Carlos was able to point us in a direction, unfortunately we did not take it. Good thing because later we found out it was ¨open 24 hours¨ which is not really a good sign in a small town.

- commercial break - why in such small towns are there so many prostitutes? I don´t understand why? Why don´t they just all get married to someone in such a small town? The money doesn´t seem to be the attraction? Explain that to me...

Back to our regular programming...

Anyway, Rama (look on a map it will help with the story) literally is at the end of the road to Eastern Nicaragua. No roads north, no roads south. Managua (a few towns between) and Rama. Rama then provides transportation down the rio to Bluefields, which is not accessable by car (okay land transportation - except perhaps an airplane and then you have to jump out of it before you get to the ocean).

- commercial break two - why have a port city of 80k people in the middle of eastern Nicaragua without any transportation (other than boat) in and out of the place? And then in the town why own a car? No one friggin´walks here (exaggeration), but honestly I think I see more cars than people crusing in their sneakers!

We´re back! Anyway, stayed the night in Rama at our beautiful hotel (recap - hopefully not brothell/whore house), and the next morning made our way on boat (which may or may not leave depending on if it had enough people) to Bluefields.

We promptly got off the lancha (boat) and as we were waiting for our bags to be thrown from the front of this small boat, a ¨nice man¨came to ¨help us out.¨ Honestly, I know better than to let anyone even talk to me when getting off any kind of transportation within probably 5 minutes of being there. They look at you as if you´re a dollar sign. Anyway, ¨Spicer¨- yes people that was his ¨name¨or so he said. He has 3 kids and a family to support (oh wait I jumped the gun here). This man decided that we needed his help`, even after inisiting that we knew where we were going and didn´t need help. Even after telling him that I spoke english and spanish, and was completely comfortable taking care of our communication. It was only 10a at this point, we had PLENTY of time before dark to find somewhere to stay - that wasn´t a brothell or whore house. He then said he had to take us to the ¨best restuarant¨in town, and well let´s just say that I think his sister owned it or something? Not sure, but he didn´t just leave us there so we could enjoy our meal, oh no, he had to sit and just watch us eat and wait for us to finish so he could be our ¨tour guide¨and help us find a hotel and see the city. That was his Job.

I asked him how he got his job, and who he worked for. He said ¨I work for myself.¨Ah yes, I´ve heard that one before, you work for yourself, so either you want me to shell out a bunch of cash for showing me 10 feet down the street, or you want to rob me. Awesome. I love those kinds of jobs! Chris and I started looking at hostels along the way, and just comparing what we wanted, and he showed us to this one (which in fairness we ended up staying at), but only after seeing several others after we looked at this one. He then said ¨I´ll wait out here,¨while a woman that owned the place showed us to our room. The man that owned the place made him leave and said not to come back. Oh yes, this verbal match was one for recording. It was quite humorous! Anyway, the man came back and said you need to becareful of that man, he´s always on drugs. We told him he´s been following us since the dock, and we couldn´t get rid of him. We offered the druggie 20 cordobas ($1 us) to go away and to ¨thank him for his services¨... wow!

Sweet... my ¨tour guide¨was a cracked out crazy man that no one likes. I always like those stories!

- commercial break- why do port towns always have so many dodgy people???

We´re back to our afternoon special...
After getting settled, we decided that it would be best to go check internet since we hadn´t been able to in several days. Plus, feel out the town for what this place is really like & to find out when the next boat to the Corn Islands is (which is a joke... perhaps that should be it´s own blog!) I think on our way to the internet cafe we found ¨Spicer´s¨brother. He decided about 3 steps from the door to the internet cafe that we needed a tour of the city too. He said that he hangs out with a lot of ¨white people¨and that he knows that the white people like to do that stuff... you know the white stuff... you know crack or cocaine. He said that he could help us get some and that it would be a good party. (Oh I forgot to mention that Spicer wanted us to go to the big DJ concert starting at 930p on Saturday night at the areana... okay yeah sounds like a great plan for me to pay 600 cordobas (30 dollars) to get robbed... hmm). Yeah pretty much we didn´t need his help either and walked in the cafe and he was gone... so we thought.

We finish up about an hour later, and we walk down to the dock to double check the ferry schedule since we really wanted to find out the next boat departure, which aparently no one knows. Maybe tmorrow, definitely Sunday. Oh and we forgot to mention that you have to go to the bluff to catch the boat. When was someone going to tell us that? Going on... on the way to the doc who do we see... our new friend... he didn´t have a name. He thought that we needed help at the dock communicating because apparently when I told him that I speak spansih and I don´t need his help that didnçt mean a thing! We get to the navy base where you have to ask these important questions, that literally no one knows the answers to, why bother asking in my opinion! He talks to the guard over me, and decides to tell me that he lives in Big Corn Island and is a guide, etc.. Hmmm... I think I´ve heard this one before. Oh yes ... it was quickly followed that he has 3 children here to support and a family in Bluefields. Wait one second, didn´t you JUST tell me that you live in Big Corn Islands? I´m so confused! Anyway we walked away.

TIME FOR A BEER AFTER ALL THAT!

We find this little place with a cute little waitress that didn´t look over 14 years old. She was super friendly, and spoke to me very slowly so we could have a conversation. The only other person in the bar was this other, what appeared to be, local man. He ended up buying us each 2 beers and came over to our table. He Juan Carlos (is everyone´s name Juan Carlos?) and he was from Honduras, and visiting his mom who lived in Nicaragua. We talked to him for a few hours, ended up having dinner with him. Strange thing is that I dont remember inviting him to dinner, nor do I remember telling him I would pay. But anyhow it was good conversation, and good friendship with a local guy - so I won´t complain! While sitting eating dinner.... GUESS WHO SHOWS UP?????

You guessed it - Spicer! Wow... really? Can I have one meal today without you *thought*?? Juan Carlos had the man removed from the restaurant, and guess who was waiting outside the restaurant for all 3 of us... yep SPICER! Seriously, who is this guy. He then started getting into it in REALLY REALLY fast spanish (I think I got ever 3rd word), and then Spicer turned to us and told us that Juan Carlos was a Pirate and was after all our money. Kind of funny to have a local garfunda looking man tell me that some Honduran man was after all my money after he just bought me two drinks? Not sure how that works out.... Juan said that it wasn´t safe for us there, so he´d walk us back to our hostel and if we needed anything we could call him or come by his hostel. Yep, pretty sure someone that´s going to rob me is going to offer his hostel name, his cell phone number... riiiiiiiiiiight... he´s a Pirate alright!

That was day one in the adventures to Corn Islands...

Today we found out that a boat did leave from the bluffs this morning to Corn Islands. I hope they´re right about the one on Sunday! ... can´t wait for the next 3 days... wonder if I´ll see Spicer and Pirate man again???

To be continued....